Does Corporate America Love People-Pleasing?

Many people experience a moment of awakening in their careers, a point when they realize that all the late nights, going the extra mile, and self-sacrifice they’ve been doing isn’t actually aligned with the story they’ve been telling themselves. Maybe it comes after being passed over for a promotion, getting laid off despite years of loyalty, or simply hitting a wall of exhaustion. Whatever the catalyst, you suddenly see the mismatch: the story that “hard work will pay off” doesn’t match the reality in front of you.

But what if you were already conditioned to buy into this narrative long before you ever set foot in corporate America?

From a young age, many of us are trained to anticipate others’ needs and adjust ourselves to be “good.” Maybe that meant being a good boy, a good girl, the “cool girl,” or later, the person at work who gets everything done with no questions asked. If you’re gay, neurodivergent, a woman, a person of color, or simply someone who never fit the mold, these pressures are even heavier. You learn to overcompensate, to blend in, and to make yourself small so that others feel comfortable.

And then corporate culture rewards you for it. People-pleasers are often the ones who stay late, say yes to everything, anticipate their boss’s moods, and abandon their own priorities in the process. They’re praised for being “team players” or for “going the extra mile.” It can look like recognition, but really, it’s the same old conditioning dressed up in corporate language. Let’s call it what it is: self-abandonment in service of the organization.

The problem is that while this strategy might get you short-term rewards, in the long term it extracts a heavy price. I see clients in their 40s and 50s who are exhausted, burned out, struggling with poor sleep, anxiety, resentment, difficulty setting boundaries, and wondering, when did I lose myself? Do I even know what I want?

Now, to be clear, people-pleasing isn’t always bad. Sometimes, in the short term, it can be a survival strategy. For example, when you’re dealing with a chaotic or difficult boss, anticipating their needs and smoothing things over might help you get through the day. The problem is when this becomes your default mode of operating. What works as a temporary tactic becomes a lifestyle, and that’s when it leads to burnout, anxiety, and a deep sense of disconnection from yourself.

So here’s something to think about: what are the signs that you might be leaning too far into people-pleasing?

Mini exercise:Take a moment and reflect on the past week or a month. Ask yourself:

• How often did I say “yes” when I wanted to say “no”?

• Where did I abandon my own priorities to make someone else’s life easier?

• Did I notice resentment, frustration, or exhaustion as a result?

Write down your answers. The simple act of noticing these patterns is the first step toward change.

And if you’re reading this and realizing you’ve been running on autopilot for far too long, maybe it’s time for a different kind of conversation. This is exactly the work I do with clients: helping them stop the cycle of self-abandonment, reconnect with what they really want, and build a way of working and living that’s actually sustainable. If that resonates, I’d love to talk.