A lot of people like the idea of change. We like imagining what our lives could look like if we were different. Maybe we'd be more confident, less anxious, more disciplined, better at setting boundaries, more successful, healthier, or finally doing the thing we've been saying we're going to do for years. The harder part is figuring out how to change and how to sustain changes. That is where a lot of our enthusiasm tends to disappear.

I used to fight reality every single day. I longed for a more supportive boss. I wanted to be further along in my career. I wished my...

“Where do you see yourself in five years?” Every time I used to hear that question, I’d cringe. It felt like a trap. How was I supposed to predict the exact shape of my life in five years when I was still figuring things out today? As a coach, I now realize I wasn’t alone in this.